Wednesday, June 29, 2011

What others say....

There's this phenomenon that keeps occurring when I'm talking to people about our adoption journey.   Sometimes it happens right away after they learn of our hope to adopt and sometimes it happens weeks later when they ask how it's going.  

They say to me, "you know, so many people get pregnant after they decide to adopt."

This has come out of the mouths of strangers, of fellow adoptive parents, doctors, friends, etc.
I was especially shocked when a coworker who has three children from Russia said it to me.  She said, "be careful, because a lot of people get pregnant" and proceeded to tell me stories of other people she knew who got pregnant right after bringing their children home.  

My answer is usually the same - "Oh I would love that, but it would be a medical miracle!"   They usually just nod, barely acknowledging that I even said anything.

Why do people feel the need to say this?   I understand that there have been cases where this has occurred. Sometimes people who have struggled with infertility do end up getting pregnant and sometimes it happens at or around the same time that they adopt.   But this is not something to expect, especially in our case.    
I don't feel the need to explain to each and every person that yes, although I have struggled with infertility, this time I really can't get pregnant, because Brandon has had the "snip-snip".   It's really none of their business and there are even a few people who have pointed out - it can still happen.   Really people? I know that it's possible, but what are the odds and why do you feel the need to say it?

Sometimes I wonder if people are so uncomfortable with the idea of adoption that they feel the need to hope for us that we will have biological children.   Or perhaps it's because they assume that adoption was our final stop in a long process of trying for a biological child and they want to keep my hope alive.

Either way, I'm a little frustrated by it.

I would love for them to say, "congratulations on adding to your family" and leave it at that.

Monday, June 20, 2011

A Day Late to Say Happy Father's Day

I'm a day late, because this was a very busy weekend for us.   Brandon and I were camping this weekend with friends, but got home yesterday early afternoon.  We came home to a very spoiled dog and very spoiled kids. My mom watched over the boys and Marley while we were gone and they all had a few too many treats!   
We relaxed with a movie at home, Brandon opened his cards, and then we went out to dinner.
It wasn't anything fancy, but it was good.

So Happy Father's Day to my wonderful Husband.  Your boys are very lucky to have a father who fought for more time, a father who continues to want only good things for them, and for a father who takes care of all of us so well.     And hopefully, Happy Father's Day to the future father of my future child. Our baby will be so blessed to have someone like you to call Dad.  

Also a big shout out to my Dad - as my card to him said, a little girl never forgets her first dance.  I remember the days when we would dance in the living room to a Linda Ronstadt record, which was probably right after playing with my Little People house and right before he showed me his monkey lip face.   

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Ice Cream to help fund adoptions? Great!

Wendy's and their Frosties are helping to support father's and adoptions over the Father's Day Weekend.

Fifty cents of every frosty sold Saturday, June 18 and Sunday, June 19 will be donated to Wendy’s Wonderful Kids.   So get a frosty and help support kids finding their forever homes!
What a great thing!

You can even send a virtual frosty :-)  read more at the website I provided!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Moving along....

Yesterday Brandon finished his autobiography and sent it to our social worker at the agency. This means, another meeting! I feel like this is another big step for us.  She'll really dive into some things that we wrote in our biographies and Brandon and I might learn a few things about each other too.

Last night we also printed off yet another application - this time for the infant adoption program specifically.   In it, it asks if we want to be listed on our agency's website once we are officially "waiting".   Brandon said, "why not?" 
Well, it also asks for three sentences to post on the web along with a photo.  This is obvioulsy my job as Brandon's strength is not his writing.   How in the world can you introduce yourselves and explain how much you want this in three sentences?  Not to mention express your gratitude for anyone reading it!   So far, I've written about 5 drafts. We'll see how many more it takes until I feel really good about it.

We're also working on signing up for Child Passenger Safety Classes and completing some other training is required.   I hope that we can get everything finished by the end of the summer. It's already taken a little bit longer than I had thought, but we lead such busy lives that it's hard to get it all done fast.

A couple of other things...
This past weekend we were able to get some family photos taken by KJB Photography and Design.  It's a husband and wife team and I went to high school with the wife half.  They are just starting out with this business and I was very happy that we had a reason to get some photos done.  The boys have already changed so much since our wedding a year ago and I wanted at least one really good shot of the four of us for our adoption profile.

We've also been recovering from our recent vacation.  Brandon and I were lucky enough to travel to Cozumel over Memorial Day. It was our first TRUE vacation together and it was quite the adventure! It was such an amazing experience and we can't wait to go back to Mexico in the future.   Next post will hopefully include some pictures!