My boss has been a part of the American Diabetes Association of Minnesota for years now. We have gone to their annual Gala 5 times! My boss happened to mention my progress to the director and she asked if I would be willing to talk to them. See... years ago now, I was told that I was pre-diabetic. This was along with my diagnosis of PCOS. Weightloss was always suggested, but honestly, I ignored it for a long time.
I wrote up a short little description of what I had been doing and sent it to the director at the MN ADA. The next thing I know - I'm getting a call from the Pioneer Press so they can use me for a story - with before and after pictures! Up until that point, I hadn't been too public about the amount of weight I had lost. But there it was one evening practically going viral on Facebook.
I had hit 100 pounds lost that week.
http://www.twincities.com/turningpoint/ci_28907490/turning-point-pre-diabetic-diagnosis-caught-her-attention
Friends were sharing the article left and right. People were commenting - telling me what an inspiration I was. In all reality - I was a little embarrassed. Embarrassed because it was admitting to the world that I started 100 pounds heavier. I can't really explain all of the emotions about the attention, but I will tell you that I had only told a handful of people that the article was happening. I didn't really plan on telling everyone. I'm not sure why I thought I could get away with that little secret.
I never thought I would lose 100 pounds. My initial goal was 85 and I hit that on July 22nd. I had a "Stretch Goal" of 100 - like MAYBE. And there it was in October. Maintenance has been hard. I've lost more since October. More than I really meant to, but I'm trying to figure it out. I need to eat more than I was before, but obviously not too much! And I still want to eat the right things (most of the time). I also want to keep working out - fitness has become huge for me.
Say What?? Fitness??
I used to say that I would only run if someone was chasing me (that someone being a murderer or a zombie). Well this year I decided maybe running would be a good idea.
In July we did the Color Run. I ran parts of it and finished the 5k in about 46 minutes.
I ran as much as I could - I would catch up to Krista at the obstacles so we could do them together. I conquered a fear of going down a fireman pole (with Krista yelling at me from the bottom). I felt amazing afterwards!
Then.. it was Rugged Maniac. The real test of my mud/obstacle running. I am so thankful that my amazing hubby stuck with me (for the most part). This was hard. It was up a ski hill numerous times, the obstacles were way harder. Going over some of the walls was impossible without his assistance. But you know what? I finished in about an hour and 14 minutes. Thank goodness for Best Friends being there with me!
Krista and I did a Halloween Run too - a 10k. That was a push! I had to stop to walk a bit more than I would have wanted, but I had been sick that week. It was also rainy and cold that day. But once again, we finished it! I think it took about an hour and 12 minutes. Somewhere around there...
The following weekend was the Chocoholic Frolic. I had signed up alone, but lots of other people said they were doing it. That day came and most people had to miss it for one reason or another. So it ended up being my first race completely alone. I made myself run more than I ever had. The hubby and T were there to watch me finish and cheer me on. It was my fastest 5k yet! Under 34 minutes.
My final run of 2015 was on Thanksgiving.... with Krista of course! It was a 6k and although it was raining a bit when we first arrived, it turned to snow as we started. Krista is a great running partner... all of a sudden we did a mile and I was like holy crap, I did a whole mile without stopping! Then it was 2... at one point I told her my legs hurt and she said "ok, keep pushing. We can slow down, but you are not walking." So not only did I meet my goal of running/jogging an entire 5k, but I did 6k :-) It was a great feeling and I was thrilled to get that medal!
Along with my jogging, I have also been doing R.I.P.P.E.D at the YMCA and some Zumba during the lunch hour at work. Krista has been showing me a bit more weight training as well.
Some days, I don't know who I am. Other days, I realize maybe I am exactly who I was meant to be - finally.
They always say that it takes a while for your brain to catch up to your body when you have a large weight loss and I am finding that it is SO true. Sure, when I pick up clothes I say "this will never fit" and magically, it does. But stranger is that when I am walking through a crowd, in my head I still feel like that size 20 girl. I feel self-conscious walking to the restroom in a bar or restaurant like everyone is looking at the fat girl walking through. The one that although she might feel cute that night, no one else would take a second look.
I told my husband this and he said "but you aren't that girl anymore. No one is looking at you and seeing a big person"
I'm not sure that feeling will ever go away....
Some days, I don't know who I am. Other days, I realize maybe I am exactly who I was meant to be - finally.
They always say that it takes a while for your brain to catch up to your body when you have a large weight loss and I am finding that it is SO true. Sure, when I pick up clothes I say "this will never fit" and magically, it does. But stranger is that when I am walking through a crowd, in my head I still feel like that size 20 girl. I feel self-conscious walking to the restroom in a bar or restaurant like everyone is looking at the fat girl walking through. The one that although she might feel cute that night, no one else would take a second look.
I told my husband this and he said "but you aren't that girl anymore. No one is looking at you and seeing a big person"
I'm not sure that feeling will ever go away....