Our Baby Boy

Today we had T's 2 month doctor appointment.  He's actually a little over 9 weeks old at this point, but it works.
My little boy is skinny and tall!

He is 24 3/4 inches tall and 12 pounds.   This means that he is in the 95th percentile for height and only 35th percentile for weight.   

I was almost positive that he would be MUCH heavier than 12 pounds, so I was just shocked at that.

He is doing great and I love seeing how he changes each day.
Right now he tells lots of stories in his fun baby language and smiles a TON.  I love coming home to big smiles when he sees me.    He loves to sit up with our help and thinks is very cool when we stand him up to put weight on his legs.   I have a feeling he will be quite the mover, because when he lays down he waves his arms and legs like crazy!  He is drooling a lot and blowing bubbles.

The doctor couldn't hear the heart murmur that T was born with and said that at about 4-6 months we'll probably do another echo-cardiogram, but that he thinks the little hole has probably closed up.  That is great news!!   However, even if it was still there, it probably wouldn't be a big deal.

I am still amazed sometimes that I am finally a mother.   I look at him and there is no doubt in my mind, that he was meant to be my son, yet it still feels a little surreal.    Perhaps that's true happiness.

Where We're At Now... a real update

I've been playing catch up and I'm still not up to "real time", but perhaps I should just jump ahead.
I mean, T is now almost 9 weeks old!! I don't know where time has disappeared to.   It feels like just yesterday I was looking at this teeny tiny little newborn and now I am looking at this little boy!  

Shortly after we arrived home, I had a baby shower with friends and family where T was loved on by everyone and received a ton of gifts.   Then we had a shower at my office where he was completely SPOILED.   We are so blessed to have so many people who loved T before he was even born.   His Dad and I weren't the only ones waiting for him...

I went back to work far too soon. It started as two days/week and now I am back to 4 days/week. 
This must be the hardest part of my life right now.  Leaving him makes me feel guilty and I miss him like crazy.  We are also struggling to get set up with a daycare.  My mom has been with him on the days that neither Brandon or I are around, but she needs to get back to working full time.   Let me tell you though, she loves having Grandma time! 
I knew that being a working mom would be tough, but I had no idea that my feelings would be so intense.
I'm still trying to figure all of that out.

Our contact with T's birthmom has been much more limited than I expected based on some of the conversations that were happening while in the hospital and at our final goodbye with her.
There has been 1 phone call and a few emails.  
I feel ok with where things are at right now as far as openness. I think that it will develop over time though as she heals and as we get more comfortable.

Life has changed dramatically to say the least.   I'm hoping that I can post more regularly and add in some fun stuff!   

Does anyone have any questions I can answer?

Going HOME

After T was released to us, we still had to wait in Arizona for a while.   There is something called the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children or ICPC, which controls the "movement" of children from one state to another for adoption.   There is an ICPC office in each of the 50 states and when an adoption happens out of state, both the "sending" state and the "receiving" state have to give the OK for the child to move across state lines.    The case worker in AZ had a meeting with the ICPC office right away on Monday, so we were told we may get to go home as early as the end of the week.  Unfortunately, AZ wanted another state to look at our paperwork (the state that BM was moving to) before sending the info to our home state..  This caused a bit of a delay and we ended up being in AZ for a little while longer.

Although it was HOT and I was really missing home, the time that we spent just the three of us was great for bonding.  We did see our friends that lived in AZ too, but a lot of time was spent in our hotels or running errands just the three of us.  
Finally, on Tuesday, August 7th we got the "all clear" to return to our home state.    It was a good thing, because we already had booked flights for Wednesday the 8th!
We spent Tuesday evening with our dear friends who I stayed with in AZ J, A, and E.    I almost cried as I said goodbye to them since they had really become my family while I was away.
But we had to get home.
It was a little surreal as we got ready to leave AZ.  I had been away from home for 4 weeks, Brandon had been away for about 2 1/2 weeks.   And we had a baby with us....

Wednesday morning we got up very early and headed to the airport.  We had to request to sit next together since originally, our seats were very far apart on the plane.  But with a newborn... I really wanted to sit next to my husband!   

At the Gate...getting ready to fly HOME!

Up until this point, I was thrilled to have T, of course.  But he didn't feel like he was MINE.   There is something about being in a hotel, away from home that makes it all seem like you're babysitting.
Then, we were in the air.   I started to cry as I looked down at this beautiful baby.  We were taking our child HOME.  No longer would I be away from family and friends, away from my bed, away from my dog.  I would be HOME and I would have the baby that I had dreamed of for so long.  

T was an amazing baby on the flight.  He slept the entire time and didn't cry at all!  The flight attendants loved him and he got his wings for his first flight.   We couldn't have asked for an easier flight home really.

My parents were picking us up at the airport and it was such a fantastic feeling to walk towards them.  They had helped us get to this point and they looked SO happy to see us.

With Grandma for the First Time

I can't even explain how we felt at this point.   We packed up our minivan (which I hadn't seen in a month) and we headed home.  We drove through familiar cities and saw the GREEN land of the Midwest.   And we had a baby with us.  Not just a baby, but our baby.

5 weeks ago

That's right, it's been 5 weeks since the little man was born.  Where has the time gone and where have my updates gone?   I left you all hanging, didn't I?

Well, the truth is, it's a hard story to tell.

Let's do this part in bullets, shall we?

• There was no room at the Inn.   A TON of babies were being born so there was no extra room for us to stay in as adoptive parents.  We spent the first night in B's room.  Because of her C-Section, she could not be left alone with the baby in the room.  So we cared for him as she recovered.
• Baby T was diagnosed with a little hole in the septum between the two ventricles of his heart.  Luckily, he is ok and it may kind of disappear on it's own.  He also had to have his blood tested A LOT because he was at risk for jaundice. 
• On Thursday, we gave B's gift to her.  A locket from Origami Owl that had T's birthstone, her 2 year old's birthstone, an angel wing, and blue baby footprints.  She said she would never take it off.
• On Friday, it was B's birthday.  We gave her a flower and some chapstick she had been wanting. An agency rep brought another birth mom to visit and brought cupcakes.   Our lovely friend Jenn brought her balloons and a cake.  
• On Saturday at 5am, we left the hospital so that B could spend time with Baby T.   Technically, she could sign consent on Saturday night, however, her social worker was not available so the hospital was letting B and T stay until Sunday.        As a prospective adoptive parent, this was HARD.   At this point, T was her baby and not ours, however, we had bonded.  Leaving him was difficult to put it lightly.   
• We went and took a nap and spent Saturday together and with our friends.
• Sunday morning, July 29th- we knew that the social worker was going to the hospital at 9 am.   We were a ball of nerves.      We tried to keep ourselves busy, so we went to Cabelas and walked around.  At around 1pm we started to get very worried since we had not heard anything. 

• At approximately 1:30pm Arizona time, we received a call from the director of the agency saying that B had signed the consent for adoption.  We could head to the hospital to pick up Baby T.

Let me just tell you, this day is the hardest day for a birth mother.  It is also one of the most joyous days for an adoptive family.    We knew that B was saying goodbye as we headed over the hospital, just as we were excited to say Hello.

It took a while.  A long while for things to really happen.  We waited out in the car for the social worker to come and get the car seat.  Then, we waited for them to come back down.  Finally, at about 3pm a nurse and the social worker walked T out to us.

This was the beginning!!!

A Star Is Born...

Around 5:20 pm, the nurse opened the door to the operating room and told me to put up my mask and come on in.   I sat right next to B's head while they got ready to deliver the baby.  She had tears in her eyes, but all I could say was that she was doing a great job while they tugged and pushed around.    Finally, the anesthesiologist told me to get my camera ready and he said "stand up, stand up!"    I stood up and got my camera up to my eye just as they pulled the head out. 

A moment later, at 5:32 pm, he was completely out into the world and screaming at the top of his lungs!     They held him up high so we could all see, then the nurse told me I could go over to the warming station with them.    They weighed him and cleaned him up as best they could.  She asked me if I wanted to trim his umbilical chord and surprisingly, I said yes.   After that, they swaddled him and brought him to see B.   I had tears in my eyes the moment I witnessed such an amazing thing, but when the nurse handed him to me to be the first to hold him, all I could do was stare at him.   

I was able to go with him, into the nursery while they did everything they needed to do.   I called Brandon over so he could see through the window as they did his foot prints and measured him.    What an amazing little boy....

Baby T, 7 pounds 13 oz, 21 1/4 inches long

He has long fingers and big feet with long toes.  He has a ton of dark hair and at least one adorable little dimple. 


I was amazed that my fear of passing out during the C-Section turned into me witnessing him being brought into the world, cutting the chord, and later drawing blood for initial testing.   Apparently, all of those fears and worries go out the window when you are bringing a new life into the world.